The First Real Post

I spent all day in my room.

Actually, that's not entirely true. I left the house earlier today to go do something that I was guilted into doing. I didn't want to do it, but I wouldn't hear the end of it from the person involved if I didn't go. Since getting home, though, I've hardly left my room. That was about 7 hours ago.

I haven't put on any music, I haven't put on the TV. I picked up my guitar before and played some songs I wrote months ago, but nothing new came out.

At this point it's too late to do something productive today. I've wasted the entire weekend. Now I have to go through another five days of work before I get another weekend in front of me. I wonder if I'll waste the next weekend, too?

It just seems so impossible to get up and do something. I know I should go work out. I'm 30lbs overweight. As Louis C.K. once joked about - "I'm just cosmetically overweight." I'm still healthy, I just look terrible. I've lost all the fitness achievements I gained last year. I'm exhausted all of the time. In three months I'll have the summer off (yay for being a teacher), and yet part of me thinks it's so far away. It's so freakin' far away. Sometimes I think I won't even make it to the summer. No, I'm not going to kill myself. It just seems like that freedom is so far away that it'll never get here. 

Why am I so whiny?

-T